Here's Why You Need To Start Doing Solo Self Care Dates

Do you ever take yourself on self care dates?

If you answered no to that question, why not?

Self Care dates are essential to your overall mental health and wellness. Most of the reasons that I’ve heard as to why women don’t take themselves on dates revolve around a busy schedule. Many of us work full time, have homes to tend to, a social life to maintain, hobbies and skills that we’re building, relationships to indulge in, and so much more! The idea of taking an entire day or a portion out of our day and dedicating it to ourselves may feel selfish or just plain impossible.

But it’s neither selfish nor impossible.

Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand. However, it’s important to remember that we can’t pour from an empty cup!

This is something that I’ve had to learn the hard way, and something that I’m actively working on. Sitting with myself and not doing any work or anything ‘productive’ (productive is in quotations because honestly, doing things for yourself and indulging in self care IS productive) still feels uncomfortable. I have to constantly remind myself to remain in the present and enjoy my rest because after all, life is chaotic!

Even if you have a busy lifestyle, it’s possible to take self care dates or even errands if you’re intentional about it!

But being busy isn’t the only reason why some women don’t take self care dates. For many of us, going out solo is awkward and uncomfortable- especially for those who suffer from social anxiety. It can be easy to assume that people are looking at us or judging us, perhaps some women even start to think that people are judging them because they’re out alone.

It’s all in your head

Most of the time, people are too caught up in their own affairs, or the affairs of the people that they’re with to focus on you.

It’s important to note that no one knows you’re uncomfortable with going out by yourself unless you tell them!

Here are some reasons why you need to start doing self care dates (as often as possible):

They build your confidence

If you’re used to always having someone with you to talk to or use as an emotional support while you’re out, the idea of going out alone may produce feelings of anxiety. This is completely normal but the more you go out, the more comfortable you’ll become. Going out by yourself will assist you in becoming more comfortable being alone AND assist you in becoming more comfortable around people that you don’t know.

You can enjoy time without feeling rushed

At this point in my journey, I’m so used to going out by myself and taking my time that when I go out with others, I tend to overthink and get worried that I’m interrupting their day and taking too long. My overthinking and assumptions are so over the top that I also assume the other person is too kind to be honest with me. Assuming a personality trait about another person when they’ve done nothing for me to confirm this assumption is wrong. Nonetheless, It’s an entire spiel that I endure! When I have the time to go on solo dates, however (which is often), I’m able to take my time and make adjustments in my plans as I go, without having consideration for someone else’s time. As a recovering people pleaser, this feels like a breath of fresh air.

They allow you to try new things

How many times have you wanted to try a new activity but never had anyone in your life who was interested enough to go with you? I think many of us can relate to this. What’s stopping you from going out and trying this new activity on your own? I’ve done this a few times and I’ve never regretted it. In fact, I’m glad I decided to try these new activities because I was able to come back and tell my friends and family about my experiences and persuade them to go with me the next time! Life is far too short to wait on others.

It teaches you to enjoy solitude

How can healers, servers, and empaths recharge? Solitude! How can you ever truly recharge if you’re uncomfortable in your own solitude? The truth is, you can’t. We spend so much time being social- whether it’s work, school, family, friends, relationships, etc., that we don’t get a chance to have any real downtime. Going on solo self care dates will help implement a mental reset. Simply focusing on you, your needs, desires, and interests- even if it’s just for a a couple of hours- is great for your mental health.

Solo self care dates are something that I started doing in the summer of 2021. I think I’m naturally shy, fear judgment and suffer from low self esteem at times- so it was quite difficult. However, I decided to stick to it! The more I went out, the more I reaped the benefits. As the seasons change in my life, sometimes I prefer to go out alone because all the ‘noise’ in my life comes to a halt.

Solo self care dates look different for everyone, because we all live different lifestyles and hold different interests. It doesn’t matter what you consider a self care date, as long as you’re doing it alone, enjoying yourself and not harming others!

Do you go on self care dates? If so, let me know what some of your favorite things to do or places to go in the comments!